Tuesday, 15 September 2009

9-15-09 Awesome Austin

I woke in Austin today, after nightmares of murder. Every once in a while my head goes to a dark place when I sleep. Now this may or may not be a dark place.
It may be trying to show me something. There has been a death in my dream .The person who has been killed is never clear, and I don't think it matters.
But I spend the whole dream with people in my life or from my past trying to find places to bury and hide the deceased. (I know its morbid, but worth a share)

In my dream I am thinking I am moments from being caught, and that I have to find the secret resting place. I visit places of my childhood , and am always on the run.
I feel these images may be showing me that there is no place to bury your thoughts.
They will always come back to you. The things that you do to yourself to keep you from being "authentic you" will always be present until you face them, However scary they may be.
Even as I write this I think of what I want to say, and how I want to express myself through the day and I tell myself I won't be able to do that, or it's wrong.
So inside there is a roller coaster in my mind..... AND NONE OF IT IS REAL......I MAKE IT ALL UP. As we all do. these feelings, these meanings, these choices we make. We make it all up, and stick wholeheartedly to our made up junk.

I have no advice, just a morbid share that my not be that morbid.
But maybe you have these dreams to. If so i would not focus to much on the death ,but on the re-birth of a beginner YOU!.......just look at yourself and allow whats inside to express itself in a kind and nurturing way.
I guess that was a bit of advise.

Time to walk back to the hotel... through the rad city of Austin.

Patrick Swayze


  1. There's a long time I don't have nightmares. THANK GOD!! hahahaha -- Nightmares seem to be so real..I hate that. You feel all the anxiety, pain, fright of it.. It creeps me out. But your nightmare was kind of good for going back to your origins and for making you kind of re-discover yourself.. that's good.


    I got really sad for Patrick Swayze's death... My mom was a huge fan... so I grew up watching to "Dirty Dancing" and trying to find some guy to dance with me like him(never found, but maybe someday I'll) haha!! He was one of my childhood heroes.. will be always in my memory!! That's sad. RIP

    Kisses ;**

  2. Ahhh Swayze......'Red Dawn' was one of my favorite movies....I can recite 'Dirty Dancing' in my sleep.......'Ghost' still haunts me.......

    You will be missed...but never forgotten...

    As far as the nightmare...maybe a part of your life is needing to end.....and you ultimately are the killer or creator of your experience.......

    Dreams are fascinating.......Lara

  3. good lord,i knew i was technilogically challenged but i thought i could post a comment. hope it works now.
    anyway, i have night terrors. dreams where someone, a faceless stranger, is trying to kill me. my only escape is that in my dream, i have to wake myself up. when i wake, i am full of fear still even though i know where i am and that i am safe. i have to sit up, stay awake for 10-20 minutes or i'll go back into the dream. i have figured out the analogy for my everyday life and that has helped but i still have them. dreams, nightmares, or night terrors...all amazing phenomenon of the brain

  4. Funny what you should say about ignoring the death in the dream, because people who interpret dream meanings usually believe that death signifies a re-birth of some description.

    I've always been one for having strange dreams every so often and I've had similar ones to this many a time, especially the feeling of being chased and also being lost but often a sense of being in the same surroundings in my past or maybe even just in my subconscious. Dreams are strange, but I always get an equally strange sense of satisfaction from the most bizarre. Perhaps that's just due to having an overactive imagination hey!

    R.I.P. Patric Swayze

  5. I dont know if this will do anything for you or not but your dream reminded me of a dream that my sister had. I helped her analyze it a bit, so here is the dream...
    she was outside, it was dark and she was standing behind a man. She watched him as he threw junk in a hole and then covered it all up with tires, he then buried it all with dirt. Suddenly, she is standing in front of him. She looks past the man to a hilltop in the distance, there crouched down ready to pounce is a lion. She is afraid. She knows the lion is going to eat the man. Shes not afraid of the lion, she is afraid of the man that is burying junk. She feels conflicted, she cant decide if she should warn the man of the lion, or if she should just let the lion do his thing... then she wakes up....
    we tried to figure out what it meant and this is what we figured... the dark represents hiding, fear or secrecy, the man burying junk represents a part of my sister the junk symbolises her past, her memories her childhood that she has not forgiven or confronted (she has burried it) the lion is God, He is there to get rid of the part of my sister that burries all the junk, that holds on to things that have hurt her, and the tires (this was the hardest part and her boyfriend was the one who finaly figured it out) they were the facaude, they were there as a cover a way of making it look like things were not there, like there was nothing amiss, you know, and she would have to get rid of the facaude before she could drudge up the junk.
    ok, so like I said dont know if that helps you at all, but it was realy significant for my sis and it was interesting the way it all came around.

    maybe the dead person is a part of you that you have outgrown or overcome? visiting places from your childhood tends to mean your dream has something to do with your past. so, I think you are right, that there is no place burry your thoughts, but what thoughts are you trying to bury and why? give them a memorial and let them get carried away by the wind... tell them goodbye...

  6. oh! Wow, it actually let me post the comment this time!