Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Following the friend flow

I have to say I diagnose the "little things". The looks, the weird texts, the odd tones in voices, the sudden change of intentions. I am a bit paranoid these days over all these "little things". I guess they are not so little after all. That eye brow lift, though very small in relation to the big picture can start a chain of magnetized mind manipulation.

That raise of brow triggers something inside (a nerve if you will). That nerve takes the view of the situation and increase's it's size, value, and story. Kind of of like a day out fishing without the slime.

So now what I see is a slightly bigger eye brow, with a story that is saying "somethings wrong", and a meaning of importance.

Now realize that a fly may of landed on the other persons forehead that made there eye brow raise, or they have a weird twitch or something to that effect. It may have nothing to do with me. Yet I seem to attach one of my made up stories to the purpose of the movement. "What they raised a brow at me, and looked at me funny" I say in my head. "They are pissed off I didn't go with them to the show! I know it."

I am now convinced they are mad at me (the eye brow is now the size of a furry "cat scratch tree" from pet co. on top of there face, and they are starting to distort in my mind as an evil troll that is out to suck me under the bridge.

"What could I have possibly done to deserve such a gesture toward my life's validity?"

Then this is were it gets really fun.
Self doubt pops by for a beer. "Yo! what's up holmes? Haven't felt weirdly bad for a minute. thought I would come by and take a shit on your brain for 20 minute's. Is that okay?" I respond." Hell yeah!, and bring your friends self conscious and worthless over and let's party!"

Now this eye brow is so big it looks like the golden gate bridge has been stretched across your face and covered with mo-hair.

I am great at this next part.I say, "What's wrong, something's wrong, what did I do? What, I mean god, I'm sorry......sorry!"

I love apologizing for shit I am unaware of doing. If all else fails start begging for forgiveness.

What It comes down to is don't sweat the lil stuff. Your mind is going at like 64 thoughts a sec. Let that happen and acknowledge it for sharing the highly entertaining paranoid visions. And know that most of the time your making it all up anyway.
what's in an eyebrow? Hair.


  1. DOOOOOOOOD!!! I cracked up really really hard here.
    You folks (all of you) are something else - and I mean this in the BEST possible way. Thanks :-)

    Can't wait to see everyone this weekend!!! WOOT!


  2. just landed in texas and you made me laugh! this post!~your friend~julie

  3. I understand exactly how you feel, and i suffered a great deal torturing with why's. Then i realized that nothing depends on the external. It is you and what you are that comes back at you. So if you are Love, then what it is in the eyebrow is Love.

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  5. B. Billy G,
    This is awesome. Not only are the pictures super wierd and fantastic, but what you are saying actually makes sense...eyebrows really are just hair!
    You really can't live your life on "what-if's". For example, I saw you guys in Edmonton on the weekend. You were rad! So rad in fact, that I was drawn, like a bee to an anaphylactic-prone bystander, to the line up where young girls anxiously gathered to get your autograph. I really wanted to meet you. Well, actually, I just wanted to see your hair up close. But being the servant of self-doubt I am, I got the heck out of there. After all, why bother you with one more autograph to sign?
    My heart told me to endure the long wait with the adolecents, until it was my turn in line to stand before you and smile awkwardly, like a rite of passage. But my head told me to get the hell out of there and get a cab before it started blizzarding out.
    After your post, I now realize that not only did I need to stand in that line for me, but for you as well. Why? No idea. Maybe it is because I am extremely shy, and if I were to get within two feet of your proximity, my cheeks would've turned an amazing red hue. So red, in fact, that it was really a shame for you to have missed the sight of the great "Red Delicious'" on my face. I really think you would have liked it. Maybe you needed me to observe your hair, and tell you how crazy awesome it is. Ya never know.
    All I know is next time I see you, I will stand in that line with all the stalkerish strength I have in me, because I am worth it.
    So there you have it. You taught me a valuable lesson.
    Thanks Bushwalla! I owe you one!


  6. i learned this year that you have to be confident with what you put out someone else takes it has nothing to do with long as you are being true and honest. and just because someone does something in your presence doesn't mean it has anything to do with you.


  7. God....this is how I feel when ever I run into you at your shows...In my head , I'm thinking that Your thinking....God, here she is then I think.. so what...I'm gonna bug him anyway .
    * smile *

  8. I like you because you are you. Thanks for that.

  9. I like this entry because it featured silly pictures as well as poignant thought.

  10. This whole post reminded me of the part in Better Off Dead when John Cusack's character meets the girl of his dreams for the first time & they start chatting. The voice over is their own paranoia about looking and being perfect for this other "perfect" person. So insterad of perfection they end up being total wankers. But we find out that despite all their overly glorified flaws they date anyway. Your pictures made me chuckle and :-]

  11. Ahh, B...see, generally my female friends and I associate this type of behavior with our own hormones/PMS/Mood swings...and we discuss it...a lot. Not that I'm saying you have PMS, but it's nice to hear that it's more human than anything to misread others and make shit up in our heads to make sense of it all. Keep talking about it. :)

  12. I listened to Mayhem is Beautiful for the first time today and I am in love with it - AMAZING! And you and Dawn sound perfect together. Thanks for sharing the music...


  13. B., you are totally gonzo! Enjoying the blog.

  14. "what's in an eyebrow? Hair."

    ^EXcellent statement^

    thanks for all the laughs I had when reading this.
    i dig yo' hummah.
    (nothing about hummous)

  15. I miss your posts :(
    Hope everything is great!

  16. I do the same thing! It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one!